Sexual Abuse

“Sexual abuse”refers to any unwanted sexual activity that a person is subjected to. It can occur between people who know one another or who are in a relationship, but it can also take place between strangers. “Sexual activity” can refer to inappropriate touching, suggestive words, penetrative sex, exhibitionism, or being shown or sent lewd photos.

Sexual abuse is any sexual activity performed without informed consent. A child cannot give consent, nor can an adult person who is incapacitated in some way– for instance because of alcohol or other judgment-impairing substances, or due to mental illness, dementia, or senility.

In the last few years, we have become more sensitive to the different ways in which consent can be coerced, such as when a manager sexually propositions their subordinate – there may not be any physical force used, but the power dynamics at play may create a coercive environment in which saying “no” doesn’t feel like a viable option.

Sexual abuse can happen to anyone, regardless of their age, gender, background, level of education, or social status. It can happen within marriages, between a caregiver and their charge, and even to children. Sexual abuse can be a one-time occurrence, but it can also be a pattern of behavior a survivor is subjected to. As pointed out earlier, it can occur through a person using force or the threat of force on the other person, or through coercing consent or using subterfuge to take advantage of those who cannot or who have declined to give consent.

The impact of sexual abuse

Our sense of bodily integrity and safety is something we all highly value. Sexual abuse threatens that, and it is a heavy burden to bear. In the short term, a person may experience shock, disbelief, and fear after they experience sexual abuse. Over the long term, the feelings of shame, powerlessness, fear, isolation, anxiety, and depression that can result from sexual abuse are an added weight to the trauma of sexual abuse.

For both adults and children, experiencing sexual abuse affects their peace of mind and sense of safety. In many cases they may withdraw from others, their productivity at work or school may decline, and their enjoyment of activities may be diminished. It’s important for the person who has experienced sexual abuse to understand that they are not responsible for what happened, that it’s not their fault. Healing begins in different ways for survivors, but this is one important place to start.

When you’ve gone through something as devastating as sexual abuse, it’s hard to know how to begin processing what happened. The American Psychological Association suggests that one avenue is to write about it.Putting your experiences into words may help you to process the traumatic event and deal with the stress of the event while coming to terms with it.

You can also learn to understand the difficult and complicated emotions associated with experiencing sexual abuse, such as shock, disbelief, and fear. The abuse may have taken place a long time ago, and the memories may be repressed. Talking with someone like a psychologist will help you to process what you’ve experienced. Group therapy has proven effective in helping people deal with the long-term effects of experiencing sexual abuse.

Reporting any incidents of sexual abuse also helps a person deal with what has happened and contributes to bringing abusers to justice. You can choose to report it to law enforcement, or where that is an option you’d rather not pursue, speaking to someone such as a therapist or contacting an organization such as RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network) which is available 24/7 at 800.565. HOPE (4673) to walk you through your immediate option sand help you begin your journey toward healing.

If you know someone that has been sexually abused, the best thing you can do is listen to them, believe, and be present for them. They are likely experiencing a swirl of emotions and need you to exercise patience and empathy toward them. They may choose to report what has happened, and in that case, you might walk with them on that journey.

If they are an adult and they choose not to report what happened, you need to respect their choice. Depending on your relationship with the person, you may be legally obligated to report any abuse to the proper authorities. For example, if a teacher finds out that a student has been sexually abused by their parent, that information should be referred to the proper authorities as most states have regulations for mandatory reporting of child abuse.

It is heartbreaking that anyone goes through an experience as harrowing as sexual abuse,let alone a child. If you or a loved one you know has experienced sexual abuse, help is available. The journey toward restoration and healing is one that a survivor can begin today. Whether you are the parent of a child that has been sexually abused, the victim of childhood sexual abuse, were abused as an adult or went through a sexually abusive relationship, Christian counseling for sexual abuse offers you a safe space for you to move forward and find freedom.

Whether you report the incident to law enforcement or not, having a space to process what happened is important.Sexual abuse may leave one feeling extremely vulnerable, so finding a safe space marked by compassion and without judgment is crucial. The counselors at Orange County Christian Counseling are patient and compassionate, and they understand the sensitivities of dealing with sexual abuse and the complex emotions involved by the experience.

They know that because each person’s story and struggles are unique, your journey toward healing will also be unique. Being trained and having experience in dealing with the delicate and complicated emotions that emerge after a traumatic event, your counselor will meet you where you are.They will listen to your story to tailor their trauma recovery techniques and your treatment plan to meet your specific needs.

Christian counseling for sexual abuse can help you or your child with:

Processing the effects of childhood sexual abuse. This is important for adults who experienced abuse but have never worked through it to understand how it affected them as children and now as adults.

Being able to communicate the experience of abuse. Being able to name what has happened is a good starting point for processing it and regaining a sense of control over what happened

Understanding their reactions, behavior, and emotions toward the abuse. The emotions unleashed by abuse can be confusing or hard to understand and taking the time to process these is important.

Regaining a sense of normalcy. What has happened doesn’t have to define you, nor should it prevent a survivor from doing the things they enjoyed doing. Reclaiming that sense of enjoying everyday life is an important milestone on the journey to restoration.

Differentiating healthy and unhealthy relationship behaviors. Sexual abuse can expose a person to, and set in motion, unhealthy patterns of behavior in relationships. The distortion of the parent-child relationship when a child is sexually abused by their parent can have echoes that reverberate till long after that child has grown up, impacting their understanding and experience of appropriate sexual intimacy, among other things.

Developing necessary tools to cope with the effects of the abuse. The people and places associated with the abuse can continue to retraumatize a survivor, and sometimes something previously innocuous like a particular smell or sound can be triggering.

Rebuilding self-esteem and feeling secure again. Sexual abuse affects both areas as an individual is assailed with fear, self-doubt, or blame.

Working through the memories so that they lose their power or hold over them. It’s not uncommon for a person to have post-traumatic stress due to sexual abuse, and one area necessary for healing is their memories.

Recovery from sexual abuse is possible. To begin your journey toward healing, browse the directory of counselors, and contact us today to find out more about counseling for sexual abuse at Orange County Christian Counseling or to make an appointment for your risk-free initial session.