Relationship Issues

There are several types of relationships, so the kinds of issues that can affect relationships will vary. Additionally, the issues any relationship can stem from one or both parties in the situation. The dynamics of human relationships are complex because when two imperfect people get together, their interactions can result in issues developing. This means that while one party may need to put in the bulk of the work to remedy a relationship issue, it usually takes a concerted effort from everyone involved to get things back on track if they choose.

Different issues crop up in different relationships, while some issues may occur across all kinds of relationships. In a relationship such as a marriage, you may have issues with poor communication, a lack of physical and emotional intimacy, resentment, past infidelity, emotional and financial abandonment, differences over how to handle finances, and various kinds of abuse such as verbal, emotional, and physical abuse. A couple with kids may have issues concerning disciplining those children, or with how to relate better as a family. These different issues in the relationship can bring about arguments and diminish your enjoyment of it.

Other relationship issues include:

• difficulty forming or keeping friendships,
• not being able to relate well with work colleagues,
• fractious relationships or interactions with neighbors or strangers,
• relating to others in unhealthy ways, such as being codependent, avoiding commitment, or having trust issues
• broken relationships and difficulty forgiving and reconciling with others
• difficulty making and maintaining romantic connections with people

These or other relationship issues may be causing hardship for you or your family. Because relationships are so important, when something goes awry in them, it affects our well being in profound ways. You may be facing one or several of these issues, but it is important to recognize that God does not intend for people to struggle in their relationships. We are meant to flourish, and our relationships are meant to be a source of blessing for us.

Relationship issues can stem from several causes and being able to understand some of those causes will help a person deal effectively with the issues and put a plan in place to prevent or mitigate their intrusion into future relationships.

Some of the causes of relationship issues include:

Past experiences that shape a person and their response to others in those relationships. If someone was cheated on in a past relationship, for instance, they may struggle with trusting their current romantic partner. Someone may have been neglected or abandoned in their childhood, which can lead them to struggle with forming secure and healthy attachments.

Anger issues. Uncontrolled anger that results in violence or regrettable words can break or seriously harm relationships

Unwillingness or inability to communicate effectively. The lifeblood of good relationships is effective communication. A person may lack the ability to communicate well, or they may be unwilling to do so, and this can cause problems in a relationship. For instance, an uncommunicative boss can create friction with their subordinates because they don’t know what’s expected of them.

Different stages of life. Parents and their children can lose touch with one another because they are going through different stages of life. Without regular and meaningful communication, issues can develop between them. Spouses can also find themselves drifting apart; going through menopause or a midlife crisis profoundly affects a person and their sense of who they are, and a couple can miss each other if they aren’t paying attention.

Lack of effective listening skills. If the lifeblood of a good relationship is communication, then what makes communication work is knowing how to listen well. Too often, we are distracted, interrupt the other person, aren’t clear about what they mean, jump to conclusions about what we think they are saying, or judge them, all of which stand in the way of hearing the other person out and helping them feel heard. Effective listening allows people to know the other person’s concerns and how they would like those concerns to be met. That clarity goes a long way toward meeting the other person’s actual versus perceived needs, one area where relationship issues can develop.

Not paying sufficient attention to your own and others’needs. Being self-absorbed and oblivious to the needs of others creates issues in relationships. Ignoring your needs can cause problems in your relationships. For instance, you need sleep and meaningful interactions with other people – a lack of both can leave you feeling empty or irritable, and that has consequences for the people around you.

Mental health concerns. One of the symptoms of a condition such as depression in men is irritability and anger. An otherwise patient and caring husband, father, or friend can snap at the people around him in uncharacteristic ways, and that causes issues in those relationships. Addressing those mental health challenges can help to address the issues raised in the relationship.

Addiction and substance abuse. These can cause a person’s behavior to change, affect their reliability, and so on.

For those struggling with relationship issues of various kinds, the outlook is good. There are steps you can take to begin addressing issues in your relationships. Becoming aware of the issues and causes underlying them is a great step to take because the first step to fixing a problem is being aware that there is one. Talking openly and honestly with the people in your life, and listening well to them, can help you understand what some of the issues are, and they may know what steps you need to take to resolve the issue.

With some relationship issues, there is a need to involve others such as a trusted spiritual leader or a counselor. Where there are mental health concerns or issues that flow from past relationships, a mental health professional such as a trained and licensed therapist can help to diagnose you to ascertain what the underlying issue may be, and they can create a treatment plan that may include therapeutic techniques such as Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, medication, or both.

Human beings are made in God’s image, and our capacity for relationships flows from God. A Christian therapist understands the complex emotional, mental, and spiritual dynamics at play in how we form, sustain, and cause relationships to flourish. Christian counseling looks at the whole person, helping them develop tools to relate well to others and address issues that may be hindering their capacity to have meaningful and long-lasting relationships. By applying evidence-based therapeutic techniques as well as the wisdom gleaned from Scripture, your counselor can address your entire being, walking with you to draw on God’s promises for wholeness and the resources of forgiveness and grace to bring the most out of your relationships.

Having good relationships requires having the tools that mental, spiritual, and emotional maturity provides, and a Christian counselor can help you to develop those tools through reflection and practical exercises, as well as by working through any past issues that may be hindering your growth in relationships. In your sessions with them, they will also address any harmful behavior or thought patterns that create challenges to forming and maintaining healthy relationships. When you share your story with them, your therapist will be able to draw from their experience to craft an appropriate treatment plan to address your unique concerns and needs.

Relationship issues affect our overall well-being, and they have far-reaching effects on our lives. You don’t have to struggle alone with any relationship issues you may be facing. Browse our counselor directory to find the right counselor for you and contact us to schedule an appointment so that you can begin addressing any relationship issues you may be experiencing.