Addressing Sexual Intimacy Issues in Marriage

Sexual intimacy issues in marriage can stem from many factors. The good news is that it is never too late to rebuild emotional and physical intimacy through communication, reduced performance expectations, and counseling.

Common Sexual Intimacy Issues

Sexual intimacy issues can create a distance physically and emotionally in a marriage. It can lead to hurt, frustration, anger, and resentment. Keeping lines of communication open, being willing to be vulnerable, and seeking help when needed can strengthen the relationship.

The following are several common sexual intimacy issues couples face.

Hormonal Changes

Hormonal changes throughout life can lead to decreased libido or a mismatched libido between a couple. For example, a woman going through early menopause symptoms may have a lower libido as well as physical symptoms, such as vaginal dryness, that make sex painful. While her husband may have higher hormone levels, causing him to want to make love more often.

Hormonal changes are normal. If they become a problem where sexual intimacy is concerned, speak to your physician about the possibility of hormone therapy.

Lack of Emotional Intimacy

Expecting physical intimacy without emotional intimacy can lead to lulls in a marriage. The act of sex becomes more of a demand than a pleasure, losing the connection it once held. Emotional intimacy starts with non-sexual acts of love. For example, little acts like holding hands, brushing by the other, maintaining eye contact, and spending quality time together all build emotional intimacy.

Consider scheduling weekly or bi-weekly date nights and make it a priority to touch your spouse more. Put in the effort to serve and spoil your spouse in the little things. Open the line of communication by asking for the same in return.

After Effects of Infidelity

Infidelity can tear a relationship apart. If you are working on rebuilding your marriage after infidelity or an affair, know that it is possible with time, effort, forgiveness, and grace from the Lord. The after-effects of infidelity can make it more challenging for spouses to express themselves sexually as they have lost the trust and freedom that makes sexual intimacy safe in marriage.

Speak to a counselor about ways to rebuild your marriage after infidelity. Couples therapy is effective in getting spouses on the same page.

Medical Conditions

Certain medical conditions and side effects of medications can lead to sexual intimacy issues in marriage. For example, a man can experience erectile dysfunction at any age, while a woman may feel overwhelmed by family responsibilities while dealing with hormonal changes and anxiety. Combined, these issues can decrease libido.

Speak to your physician about medical conditions and medications hampering your sexual relationship and work on building and strengthening emotional intimacy during this season.

Meeting an “Obligation”

No one feels like having sex all the time, especially if you are tired, anxious, depressed, or ill. Often, spouses will participate to keep the peace, but it feels more like an obligation than a connection. This can lead to bitterness, resentment, and frustration.

If meeting an obligation has become more of the norm, speak to a counselor today about how to get both of you back on track and address the issues holding you back.

Christian Counseling for Sexual Intimacy Issues in Marriage

Christian counseling combines faith-based principles with evidence-based techniques to address the individual holistically. When it comes to sexual intimacy issues, your counselor will help you work on communication, build emotional intimacy, seek treatment for medical conditions, and learn to lean into each other in this season while drawing closer to God. Contact us today to get started.