Coping with Grief after Losing a Spouse

Losing your spouse is likely one of the most painful experiences that any human being can go through. Building your life alongside another person is a beautiful thing.

You’ve had a joyous wedding day together. Perhaps you’ve bought a house, or even started a family. Your spouse and family can be an incredible source of comfort and joy in your life, so to have that snatched away is absolutely devastating.

That being said, there are certain aspects of grief over a lost spouse that are distinctive. The different stages of coping with grief must be worked through and processed in your own time. To help explain this, let’s unpack a few key aspects of grieving the loss of a spouse.

Acknowledging The Loss

The loss of a spouse can trigger a plethora of emotional responses. For some, the burden of pain is just too much to bear, and they may enter denial.

A common response exhibited by those who have lost a spouse is to convince themselves that their husband or wife is coming back. This is an understandable reaction but can be damaging in the long term.

Some people may even become convinced that they “saw” their spouse in the crowd at the mall, or strolling along the sidewalk as they drove around the local area.

Again, this is common and is to be expected as the mind comes to terms with the loss. Over time, the grieving individual will come to a point of acceptance that their loved one is really gone. This has to be done in their own time.

Feeling Intense Pain And Loss

There is no other way to put it, grief is horrendous. Feelings of fear, anxiety, guilt, and depression are all common. It is important not to suppress these feelings when they surface, but instead to work through them as they arise. Letting yourself feel these emotions is an essential element of processing your grief.

What is disturbing to many who are grieving the loss of a spouse is the development of negative feelings towards the deceased.

Resentment, frustration, and even blind anger may be felt, as the surviving spouse is left to deal with all the unresolved issues from their marriage alone.

Finding Hope And Comfort In The Cross of Christ

For Christians, dealing with grief is a very different experience. Whilst we experience the same heartache and loss as anyone else, we know that death is not the end. It is an unnatural experience that was not intended by God.

We can know the blessed assurance of an eternal future with Jesus, where there will be no more tears, no more pain and where death will be gone for good.

The Benefits of Christian Counseling When Coping with Grief 

The support of family and friends is absolutely essential. When you lose a spouse, a sense of loneliness can descend upon you as you learn to live without your soulmate.

While a close support network is important, even those dearest will sometimes find it hard to find the right words to comfort you. Plus, there can be a tendency for loved ones to push you into “moving on” before you are ready.

This is where professional Christian counseling can help. Through talking to the right therapist for your situation, you will be given more of an opportunity to process the grief in your own time, without the unrealistic expectations of those who you know and love.

The therapist will be able to assist you in developing the emotional tools required to work through your grief in a healthy way and will help you adjust to the new season of life into which you are entering.