Premarital Counseling: Questions to Ask Before You Tie the Knot

Marriage is a sacred thing. The joining of one man and one woman in a vow before God is immensely significant, and the decision to tie the knot should never be taken lightly. The Biblical definition of marriage calls a husband and wife to respect and submit to each other, to serve each other, and to remain together for the rest of their lives.

So, there are some very important questions that you should think about before saying “I do.” Being naive about this huge commitment can result in disaster, so going into a marriage prepared is absolutely essential.

Here are some of the key questions you should ask yourself:

Is this God’s Calling for My Life?

(1 Corinthians 7:17)

Marriage is certainly not for everyone. Like any major decision in life, we should always seek to consult God and figure out whether it is something He is calling us to. Are you willing and ready to become joined to the same person for your entire life? Can you see a future filled with love, peace, joy, and mutual-affection?

Are Our Personalities Compatible?

(Genesis 2:24-25)

This is absolutely key! Marriage does not fix personality problems. If you are not compatible now, what makes you think you will become so after making your vows? Do you gel in a way that can be sustained for years into the future? Do you have fun with each other? Are you attracted to one another? Do you feel as if you can be vulnerable with each other? Do you have some common interests? Can you work well as a team?

What Are You Bringing Into Marriage?

Are you conscious of what baggage you are bringing into the marriage? You must be intentional about healing from the hurt of past relationships. Have you addressed these things together? You do not want a whole range of issues stemming from the past to crop up after you have tied the knot. Be open, honest and candid with each other about your past before you decide to get married.

How Is Your Communication?

Do you communicate well? Is it easy to get a point across? Do you understand each other? Are you able to agree on key issues in your relationship? How do you manage conflict?

Are You Well-Matched Spiritually?

Spiritual compatibility is an essential component of Christian marriage. Do you share the same fundamental values in life? Do you encourage each other in your walk with Jesus? Do you inspire each other to become the best possible person? Do you regularly pray together? Being spiritually incompatible can result in a disastrous marriage.

Are You On The Same Page Financially?

Being in agreement on financial matters is a key element to a healthy and sustainable marriage. Money can easily tear you apart, so you must ensure that you have a good common understanding when it comes to managing your personal finances. Can you afford to get married? Will you be able to save some cash after covering all your expenses?

What Do Those Around You Think?

Consult those nearest and dearest to you and ask them what they think of your prospective marriage. Are they supportive? Will they uphold you when things get tough?

Are You Emotionally Mature Enough?

Marriage requires emotional maturity of the highest level. Inevitably, you will hit some rough patches, and you both need to have the relational tools to deal with these times maturely and with wisdom. Is there transparency in your relationship? Do you trust each other? Are you both willing to seek help if things get really hard?

Christian Counselling Can Help You Prepare For Marriage

A Christian counselor can be an incredible help to you in your preparation for marriage. With the right therapist, you will be guided through many of the questions that arise in the lead-up to making this monumental commitment. A counseling session will also give you the opportunity to air your concerns, fears, and anxieties in a safe and supportive environment so that you can walk into the next season of your life with a refreshed sense of freedom and peace.