Anger Management for Kids: Coping in the Classroom

School is a very critical part of every child’s life. Aside from learning academics and other life skills, they also build up relationships and create fond memories of a carefree time.

But school can also be a place of negativity for a child, especially when they are struggling in their studies or in their relationship with others. Sadly, the social atmosphere of many schools shuns differences in behavior, further distancing a struggling child. One such behavior is uncontrollable anger in a child.

Discovering the Source of Anger

In order for the school to help the child deal with their anger, it is first necessary to discover its source. Some helpful key questions for school personnel to ask are as follows:

• Do the parents or guardians recognize that there is an anger problem?
• Is this anger issue only manifested in school? Or is it a problem at home as well?
• What do the parents or guardians believe is the source of this anger?
• What emotion does the child say they are experiencing prior to becoming angry?
• Does the child acknowledge that there is an anger management problem?
• What steps has the family taken to manage this anger?

While the right to privacy is important, the teachers and school administration cannot be of help if they do not know what is going on. If the source is from the school itself, then obviously steps may be taken to address this.

If the source is a family problem (e.g. death in the family, change in home environment), then at least the teachers are aware, allowing them to become more sensitive to the needs of the child (e.g. avoiding painful topics, controlling the behavior of other kids who may have heard about the child’s problem).

Other Possible Diagnoses

Sometimes a child may have problems with anger if they are actually suffering from a disorder, which is why it is important to know if the child has been checked by a professional. The following are some disorders that may lead to anger management issues.

• Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder: A child with ADHD has issues with paying attention and/or hyperactivity and impulsivity. This usually affects their academic performance, and it may cause social rejection due to their low grades or their highly energetic behavior.
• Conduct Disorder: Such a child is predisposed to bullying, intimidating, or threatening other people. They often initiate fights or are physically cruel to people or animals.
• Intellectual Development Disorder: A child with IDD has problems learning, usually scoring below 70 in a standardized IQ test. Aside from academic difficulties, there may also be problems in communication, social skills, or daily life skills (e.g. dressing themselves, using the bathroom).
• Oppositional Defiance Disorder: A child with ODD is often defiant, disobedient, and hostile toward authority figures. While most children can be like this at times, a child with ODD does this very often. Such children are also quite irritable, acting as if nothing can make them happy.
• Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder (for pre-teen and teen females): For pre-teen or teen females, PMDD may occur in the week prior to menstruation and last until a few days after it begins. At this time, the pre-teen or teen may become anxious, tense, or on edge.
• Reactive Attachment Disorder: This is an uncommon disorder that usually results from abuse, neglect, or separation from the primary caregiver when the child was still very young (infant to toddler years). As a result, the child does not respond well to adult caregivers (parents or teachers), causing them to be indifferent or hostile even during non-threatening interactions.
• Social Anxiety Disorder: A child with social anxiety disorder is fearful of social situations. Being in such a situation (e.g. attending a gathering, speaking in front of the class) may cause them to freeze, cry, or shrink away. Another reaction is to throw a tantrum prior to the social event.
• Post-traumatic Stress Disorder: A child with PTSD is reacting mentally to a terrifying event (which is why it is necessary to know about the child’s background). When this fear has been triggered, the child may become irritable or react angrily.

Anger Management for Kids in the Classroom

Whether the source of the child’s anger is known or not, the following are some tips for teachers and staff to utilize when dealing with children who have anger issues.

Redirection

This can be a very helpful method to prevent unwanted situations (e.g. conflict with others, tantrums) from occurring at school. This is especially effective for younger kids as they may not respond well to logical discussions about their behavior.

In redirection, when something untoward is about to occur, the child is asked to divert their attention to something else that is less frustrating or less threatening.

For example, if a child is becoming increasingly frustrated as they try to draw some shapes, they can be asked to color something instead. Or if a particularly temperamental child is about to join an area of rough play, the teacher can redirect the child to another area where the kids are gentler.

Getting the child to understand and share their emotions

While redirection is good, it also requires a lot of awareness on the part of teachers and staff. Another way to avoid anger issue problems is for the child to become more aware of what they are feeling so that they can express their needs.

 

The first step is to understand the emotions. A helpful tool for this is a feelings chart that can be posted in the classroom. Once the chart has been explained, the child can approach it to help express their emotions in school, voluntarily or when asked by the teacher. If the child is not able to verbally share it, they can just point to the chart (though drawing can also help if preferred by the child).

Knowing how the child feels is key to preventing meltdowns in the class.

Self-Regulation

Perhaps the big goal, emotion-wise, for teachers and parents alike is to have the child learn how to self-regulate at school and home.

When this is achieved, the child will be able to understand how they feel, express it properly, state what they may need, and make the right choices.

Self-regulation, however, does not happen overnight. It helps if the school and the family are able to guide the child about what to do when something upsets them at school. Aside from explaining to them why certain actions are incorrect, they must be given positive alternatives to choose from.

For example, if they feel like screaming in class, they can instead draw an angry face in their notebook. Or if they want to hit a classmate or teacher, then they might instead be allowed to squeeze a pillow or a soft toy instead.

Seeking the Help of Christian Counseling

If parents are able to discuss their child’s anger issue needs with the school, chances are that much can be done to help manage the child’s behavior. Teachers, staff, and parents will just need a lot of patience, dialogue, and planning; but it can be done.

However, in some cases, the anger issue may be too difficult for the school and the parents to manage, especially if mental disorders are present. In such instances, it is important to seek professional help through Christian counseling.

In Christian counseling, the counselor will use all of the latest, proven methods to discover the causes of their uncontrollable anger and resolve them in tried-and-tested ways. But in addition to that, the Christian counselor will help strengthen the child’s faith and understanding of God, allowing them to have that inner joy and peace they seek.

If you or a friend has a child that is really struggling with anger issues, seek professional help soon. The child’s inner peace can be restored once they get to know God.