Coping Skills for Anger in Children

If you have ever had the chance to witness a young child throw a tantrum, you know that they use their entire being to express their anger. From screwed-up faces turning bright red to crossed arms, stomping feet, and top-volume voices, there is no missing anger in children. Children have intense feelings and little inhibition around expressing them, and you will need good coping skills to help.

Helping our children process anger is a life skill that will give them the tools to cope with people and situations they dislike. Most of the time, they are angry because something is not working out the way they want, but they fail to see the bigger picture of why. When adults can take the time to walk them through their emotions, everyone will walk away from the situation, calmer and happier.

Preparative Coping Skills

There is an adage that says, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” There are a few practical coping skills you can use to help prevent angry outbursts.

Monitor screen time – Screens should not be used as a soothing tactic for a sad or angry child. Setting time limits around screen use is a helpful way of preventing your child from melting down when the screen is taken away. Have a schedule for TVs and tablets and a plan for your phone.

Give them active time outdoors and indoors – Children are full of energy and need to move their bodies in crazy dance moves, hanging upside down, and other wild games. A child who has a chance to release energy from their body is less likely to react in anger.

Encourage creativity – From sadness to anger to happiness, creativity can be a healthy way of coping with many emotions. Coloring, playdough, and storytelling with stuffies are all ways that children can talk about their emotions even when they don’t have the words yet.

Create a calm space with and for them – It could be as simple as sitting together on the couch for a few minutes or creating a space where your child can retreat. When a child is beyond reasoning, this calm space can be a place they go. This should not be a punishment but rather an opportunity to feel safe with their big feelings.

Practical Coping Skills

Anger rarely happens when it is convenient. Children have meltdowns in public and private when adults are in the middle of conversations and other important moments. Here are some coping skills for when you are in the moment.

Breathing exercises: Slow, deep breaths, counting to four, and box breathing are all different ways to help you and your child gain control of their bodies when they are overwhelmed with anger and other emotions.

Time out: Give your child a few minutes in their calm space to work on their emotions, and then invite them back into a chance to talk about the situation.

Meet physical needs: When a child feels angry, a glass of water, a light snack, or a nap could all be helpful. Learning to distinguish physical discomfort from emotional discomfort is part of growing.

Therapy for Anger in Children

When a child seems to have ongoing issues with anger, rage, and other outbursts, everyone can benefit from counseling. Trained counselors can use play and talk therapy with children and parents. Family counseling is also available through our offices. When you call for an appointment, we can help you find the best fit for your needs.