Advice for Newlyweds: “Don’t Go to Bed Angry”

Embarking on the journey of marriage should be a time filled with joy, growth, and unity. However, even the happiest couples encounter bumps on their road to wedded bliss. A timeless piece of advice for newlyweds is to avoid going to bed angry. While this may sound like a cliché, it carries significant wisdom.

Ephesians 4:26-27 offers guidance on managing anger. “In your anger do not sin: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” This scripture advises Christians to manage anger constructively and not let it fester. Anger itself is not a sin, but it is important to handle it in a way that does not lead to sinful actions or thoughts.

Unresolved anger should be dealt with promptly. Holding on to anger can lead to bitterness and strife, so it’s important to seek resolution and reconciliation. Allowing unresolved anger to linger can create an opportunity for Satan to get a foothold. It allows negative influences or even destructive behavior to take root. Addressing anger quickly prevents it from growing into deeper conflict or allowing harmful feelings to take over.

However, it is also crucial to recognize that not every issue can be resolved immediately. While minor grievances, like leaving the toothpaste cap off, can often be handled before bedtime, more significant conflicts may require a more thoughtful approach.

Staying up late to resolve conflicts can lead to exhaustion and ineffective communication. It’s okay to agree to revisit complex discussions in the morning when both partners are well-rested and better equipped to communicate effectively.

It’s wise to choose a specific time for your discussion so the busyness of life doesn’t overshadow your need for honest conversation. You might say, “I want you to know that this conversation is a priority to me, and I’d like to revisit it after I’ve had some sleep and can think more clearly.”

This will assure your partner that you are not ignoring the issue but prioritizing it instead. A promise to talk things through later can help maintain intimacy while allowing both partners to approach the problem with a clear and rested mind.

It’s wise not to let your temporary feelings influence your actions. Don’t fail to give your partner a goodnight kiss. Remember that your relationship is worth more than an argument. Maintaining your normal night-time routine will help maintain your connection and help reinforce positive feelings about your relationship. Acting angrily and giving the silent treatment to your partner often magnifies the problem.

Getting Additional Support and Advice for Newlyweds

For many couples, seeking help from a professional therapist can be incredibly beneficial. A skilled therapist guides communication and offers practical tools for developing unity in your marriage. They can also assist individuals struggling with forgiveness or admitting faults. A Christian therapist can offer a balanced perspective grounded in faith, helping couples with their issues both together and individually.

In marriage, maintaining open, respectful, and timely communication is vital. While it’s not always possible to resolve every issue before bed, the principle of not going to sleep angry does show the importance of addressing conflicts promptly and thoughtfully.

Prioritize your relationship, even during disagreements, and seek professional guidance when needed. The goal is not to avoid anger but to manage it to cultivate a marriage where understanding, forgiveness, and unity are the goals. If you need professional guidance to reach those goals, please contact us at Orange County Christian Counseling in California today.