Are You In a Bad Friendship?

You may not realize if you are in a bad friendship. The best friendships provide comfort, companionship, and support. But you might be too close to a problem to recognize if something is lacking in your friendship. These are some of the signs that might show you are in a bad friendship, plus ways that you can choose healthier friendships.

Signs that You Are in a Bad Friendship

The first sign that you are in a bad friendship could be exhaustion. If you consistently feel drained after spending time with your friend, it’s a sign that the friendship might not be healthy. Friendships are supposed to be a two-way source of positivity and encouragement. But if you are always the one who is giving in the relationship and not receiving in equal measure, you may feel depleted rather than uplifted by your interactions.

Another sign that your friendship might be bad is that you must regularly compromise your beliefs and values to avoid conflict with your friend. In healthy friendships, people can agree to disagree on certain subjects, but typically friendships are based on commonalities. If you are constantly deviating from the truth about who you are and what you believe just to please your friend, it may be a sign of a bad friendship.

Yet another sign of a bad friendship is if you feel that you are being mistreated. Friendships should be built on honesty and trust. If you feel as if you must constantly walk on eggshells around your friend to not hurt his or her feelings, this can be a sign of toxicity. If your friend manipulates you or takes advantage of you, these are sure signs that your friendship is not healthy.

These signs, while painful, can be helpful to see because they can be a signal that you need to make changes for your mental and emotional well-being. No one deserves to be in a friendship that is constantly negative, disrespectful, unsupportive, or dishonest. It may be time to move on if your current friendship is showing any of those signs. A Christian counselor can help you get out of a bad friendship.

Healing from a Bad Friendship

Healing from a bad friendship can be painful and difficult. However, it is a necessary process so you can be healthier in future friendships. These are the steps you can take to heal from a bad friendship:

Recognize the signs

Recognizing the signs that you need to move on is the first step in your healing process. It can be helpful to speak with a Christian counselor to know if you have a bad friendship since the indicators are sometimes difficult to see on your own. Look for any signs listed above and make a list of the pros and cons of your relationship. If the cons outweigh the pros, it’s probably best to move on.

End the relationship

If you have thought carefully about ending the relationship while praying and seeking wise counsel, end the relationship in a way that is respectful to the other person. Meeting in person is the best choice, but FaceTime or a Zoom call would be acceptable. Avoid using text, e-mail, or social media messaging because your tone can easily be misconstrued.

Be direct but kind, stating your reasons without over-explaining or apologizing for things that aren’t your fault. When you give specific reasons, you give the person a chance to work on his or her contribution to the problems, whether now or in the future. While that person may never choose to work on those issues, you have done your job by being clear and respectful.

Seek support

Healing from a bad friendship is a smoother process if you already have a network of friends and family to support you. Reach out to them when you need help or just someone to be a companion. Don’t isolate yourself because that will stall the healing process.

Practice self-care

Self-care will expedite your healing from a bad friendship. There are many ways to practice self-care and you will benefit from them if you do them at least once a day. Examples include enjoying nature, using relaxation techniques, engaging in your favorite activities, seeking quiet moments, eating healthy foods, exercising regularly, and developing a relaxing bedtime routine.

Process your emotions

You may struggle with blame, resentment, or grief after ending a bad friendship. It’s important that you express all the hard emotions in safe ways rather than bottling them up inside. Talking with a Christian counselor can help you process your emotions so you will be free to seek healthier relationships in the future.

Improving Your Friendship Skills

While you are healing from a bad friendship you can also work on improving your friendship skills. Here are several tips for improving your friendship skills that will set the stage for strong, fulfilling, and healthy relationships with new friends:

Listen well

Listening well is one of the most important friendship skills, yet it’s also the most underrated. It takes practice to actively listen to the other person without running ahead and thinking of what you want to say. Active listening means devoting your attention to the other person, expressing interest in what they are talking about, and asking thoughtful questions to continue and deepen the conversation.

Show empathy

You are empathetic when you can understand and relate to the feelings of other people. Empathy builds connection with others on a deep level. When you show empathy you show others that you care about how they feel and what is happening in their lives.

Build trust

The foundation of every good friendship is trust. Trust is built over time through reliability and honesty. It is built through small things such as showing up when you say that you’ll be there and big things like keeping secrets. When you are honest and transparent and follow through on your commitments, you build trust with friends.

Improve communication

All healthy friendships have honest and open communication. To have the best quality connection with your friend, you must be willing to share your thoughts and feelings with the other person. You must be open to hearing their thoughts and feelings as well. A no-judgment zone will improve the quality of communication between you and your friend.

Be flexible

It’s important to be adaptable to your friend’s schedule, needs, and preferences. Being open to experiencing new things together, including things that your friend prefers to do, builds memories between you and shows that you care.

Tips for Making New Friends

Making new friends as an adult can feel challenging. However, new friendships can also be very rewarding. Here are some tips for making new friends:

Join a group or club that highlights your interests. Examples include book clubs, community organizations, sports teams, or hobby groups. These are great places to find like-minded people with whom you have things in common.

Volunteering is another wonderful way to make friends. Many organizations and churches have volunteer programs with room for you to serve so it’s worth checking out these options in your area.

Online communities are another good way to meet people with common interests. You might develop social media connections that can turn into real-life friendships. Use the search tool on Facebook to look for groups with your interests.

When You Need Additional Help

It can be difficult to recognize the signs of a bad friendship and also take steps to address them. If you feel stuck and unsure, it’s a good time to reach out to a trusted Christian counselor for help. A counselor can help you get to the root issues of your friendship so you can address them and move forward on a healthier path. Get in touch with our office today to book an appointment if you think you are in a bad friendship.