Is it Time for Anger Management Therapy?

Among the various human emotions, anger is one of the most misunderstood. While everybody feels it at some point in their life, not everyone is sure about how and when it should be expressed.

Hence, some people are not able to control their anger or they may express it in the wrong way, affecting the ones they love. As for others, they may choose to unhealthily bottle up their anger, which gnaws at them internally until one day they explode.

Anger management therapy is a very important means to learn how to control and express one’s anger, helping those who have chosen to undergo it. Despite this, its purpose and its effects are not widely understood which is why many continue to suffer as they do not avail of anger management therapy.

Who Needs Anger Management Therapy?

The usual suspects for such therapy are those who are openly belligerent and abusive. Oftentimes, friends, family, and acquaintances are quick to point out that such persons need some type of help to control their violent ways.

However, not all people who have anger issues are so conspicuous. Some are constantly angry within but opt to keep a stoic demeanor. While this may seem alright, if the anger is not properly released, chances are that the person may soon reach their breaking point, leading to a more explosive outburst.

Moreover, harboring negative emotions within still affects a person’s relationships. Rather than being open and warm, the person tends to be cold or sarcastic to those who regularly irritate them.

Common Anger Symptoms

The following are common anger symptoms of those suffering from anger issues:

• Conscious avoidance of situations that may trigger an angry outburst;
• Constant feelings of frustration, irritation, and hostility;
• Frequent arguments with other people;
• Frightening behavior (e.g. breaking things, reckless driving);
• Regular feelings of having to keep one’s anger in check;
• Verbal threats; and
• Violence against other people (family, acquaintances, or strangers).

Additionally, another kind of anger issue is when the person feels guilty about their anger. Though they are able to express their anger properly, internally they are bothered by how people may view their anger, causing them to feel ashamed of their actions.

Anyone who is experiencing the above-mentioned anger symptoms or feels guilty about actually expressing their anger should seek help.

Knowing More about Anger Management Therapy

Anger management therapy focuses on helping the person come to terms with their anger by recognizing the anger symptoms in themselves (as mentioned above); discovering their sources of anger, and then learning how to express their anger in a healthy manner.

Sources of Anger

A person’s anger problems cannot be resolved until the sources are discovered, making it a very important goal for the therapist and client.

For those battling anger issues, such sources can be internal, external, or a combination of both. Internally, some people are deeply bothered by their failures in life causing them to become angry at themself (e.g. I’m dumb! I’m nobody! I’m useless!).

They may also be angry because of perceived injustices against them (e.g. loss of the family’s status in society) or because of other frustrations in life (e.g. disappointed with spouse, child, boss, or job).

Externally, people may harbor anger because of personal attacks against themself and their family (e.g. assault, humiliation) or attacks on their property (e.g. arson, theft, vandalism). This may also come about due to a loss of privileges at school, work, or in the community.

Expressing Anger in the Right Way

In anger management therapy, the client is taught ways to manage their anger.

One technique is to prevent situations of anger. This begins with first understanding what makes the person mad. For example, if a client is aware that they hate waiting in slow lines, they are told to anticipate the need to either go earlier than the usual crowd or to book tickets online, if there is such an option. In this way, unnecessary situations of anger can be avoided.

Another method that is taught and practiced in therapy is to ask clarifying questions. Many times arguments begin because of poor communication. Rather than reacting right away to whatever may have been said, it is best to clarify first.

Phrases like, “I’m sorry but I didn’t quite get that. Can you please repeat what you said?” or “I didn’t understand. Can you please explain further?” can help make things clearer, preventing confrontations based on misunderstandings.

Despite such options, sometimes the anger cannot be contained. However, rather than lashing out directly at the source of their anger, or innocents around them, the client is taught to unleash that angry energy elsewhere (e.g. hitting a punching bag at the gym, running around the park, or talking about the incident with a friend) or to calm the emotions (e.g. watching or reading something funny, drawing, listening to music). Such activities are also very helpful for those who prefer to keep their anger hidden, allowing them to ease their inner turmoil.

Therapy Options

Individual Therapy

For those who want to keep things strictly private, one-on-one options are always available. In such a setting, the person may be able to open up more about what is bothering them and how they react without fear of other people listening in.

Group Therapy

On the other hand, some people may benefit more by joining a group setting where others discuss their anger issues and share how they deal with them. Sometimes it can be very helpful to know that one is not alone in feeling angry, especially if others in the group have similar sources of anger.

An additional option is to experience anger management therapy with one’s family rather than with strangers. This is particularly beneficial if the family dynamics (e.g. how spouses related to one another, how the parent treats their children) have been damaged. Aside from helping repair relationships, the other family members are also taught how they can be of help to their loved one who cannot control their anger.

Anger Management Therapy for Children

While it is normal for kids to show their anger and frustration openly, as they are still learning social norms, there are times when excessive anger on their end may mean that something more serious may be bothering them.

Mental health issues such as adjustment disorder, conduct disorder, and oppositional defiant disorder cause children to regularly argue or fight with others, destroy things, misbehave, or challenge authority. Moreover, such anger management therapy for children can also be helpful in times of trauma (e.g. death of a loved one, loss of a home), as many children may react angrily to such circumstances in life.

In such cases, anger management therapy can be of help to both the child and their family. For the child, early intervention can teach them how to manage their anger symptoms before more serious problems occur. For the family, they will learn how to respond to the child’s anger and how to help the child manage their difficult situation.

Christian Counseling for Anger Management

He who is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who is quick-tempered exalts folly. – Proverbs 14:29

While one cannot rid themself entirely of anger, as it has its purposes, it is important to be able to control it. This is why anger management therapy is something that those with anger issues should seek out. But whenever possible, it is always best to get a Christian counselor to help with such issues.

Similar to secular therapy, in Christian counseling the latest anger management techniques will also be used to help the client understand and manage their anger symptoms. However, this will be taken one step further as the faith-based counselor will introduce the client to the love and power of our Almighty God, through our loving Savior Jesus Christ.

Those with anger issues are usually missing something important within which only God can fill. Through prayer and meditation on Holy Scripture, the person will finally be able to achieve inner peace, allowing them to better control their anger for everyone’s sake.

If you or a loved one is facing difficulties with anger, it is important to get help. Anger can be controlled if the right steps are taken soon.