Sex Addiction Symptoms, Signs, and Treatment Options

Chances are that if you find yourself reading this article, you are more than likely wondering about yourself or a friend who is struggling with one of the various symptoms of sex addiction. Maybe you’re even thinking that the whole idea of sex addiction is a silly concept that isn’t real at all. If you think about it, God did create humans to be sexual in order to procreate. How can you possibly procreate too much?

Before you read any farther, you should ask yourself one question first. Say that someone you know enjoys drinking alcohol to such an extent that they are potentially incurring some type of negative consequences. These negative consequences can be relational, physical, legal, financial, or even emotional.

Even with of all the different negative consequences, all that this person can think about is where to score their next drink. Would you agree that this particular person may actually be struggling with an alcohol addiction?

While you can easily swap out alcohol for whatever drug you would like, you can also switch it out with certain behaviors as well. An example of such a behavior can be gambling. The point is that these can all be related when it comes to understanding what the concept of addiction really is.

When you have an addiction to something, no matter what that something may be, you get a kind of “fix,” if you will, when you transition from the thought of wanting it to the behavior of actually doing whatever your addiction is. While the addiction is going to vary from person to person, the symptoms and the cure are always the same.

For this example, sex is going to be your behavior or drug of choice. According to Sex Addicts Anonymous, there is a 12-Step publication referred to as ‘Hope and Recover’ (1987). This publication defines sex addiction as:

“Addictive sexual behavior, acting-out behaviors we sometimes call it, leads to feelings of shame and depression: it has the effect of masking, covering up, or numbing feelings; and it leads to isolation and a complete loss of control. Healthy sexual behavior, on the other hand, is characterized by mutual respect, a sense of clarity about feelings and communication, joyfulness and genuine intimacy; it tends to make people feel emotionally and physically safe.”

What this is basically saying is that sex addicts see the aphrodisiac of their behavior as control, power, or ritual. Sometimes even all three at the same time. However, on the other side, you have the aphrodisiac for your intimate relationship that includes trust, surrender, and vulnerability. As you can see, the two are completely the opposite of each other.

With this being said, many specialists have actually summed up sex addiction as a type of intimacy disorder that is rooted within the addict from some sort of inner shame.

It is this cycle of shame that helps to keep the sex addict’s struggles hidden from others, and even from themselves. Some who suffer from sex addiction and don’t realize they have it will even say something along the lines of, “I’m sure happy I found this out,” or even “There is no way that I would have been able to admit to having this problem if I wasn’t caught while in the act.”

Since the symptoms of sex addiction are often hidden from sight, what is it that you should look for when it does come to symptoms of sex addiction?

Sex Addiction Symptoms

While there are several signs and symptoms that can point you towards having a sex addiction, here are some of the most compelling signs that you may be a sex addict.

You Experience Compulsive Behavior

Compulsive behavior stems from some type of urge that cannot be controlled. What makes compulsive behavior even worse is that a lot of times, these urges go against what you may consciously want to do. This means that you have urges you cannot control, and that goes against what you wish to consciously do.

You Have a Loss of Control

With a loss of control, you will typically lack the ability to limit yourself from fulfilling a behavior. So you will basically have no control over your ability to consciously control your behavior or impulse. This is normally due to an overwhelming feeling of emotions.

You Make Unsuccessful Efforts to Stop

An effort to stop is considered to be when you are making a conscious effort to try and limit or eliminate the behavior. It usually is a lot of hard work on your part.

You Experience a Loss of Time

When your sexual addiction takes over and without even realizing it, you have spent several hours preoccupied by it, this is considered to be a loss of time.

You Are Unable to Fulfill Your Obligations

This is when your sex addiction starts to overflow into other parts of your life and negatively affect your relationships, work, family, financial obligations, etc.

You Continue Regardless of Consequences

One of the most common signs of sex addiction are times that you have been caught with “your hand in the cookie jar,” so to speak, but are still unable to stop your behavior. Are there times when you feel that this sexual behavior has control over you, as opposed to you having control over it?

You Start to Escalate 

This is a sign that you are not going to notice overnight. It is kind of similar to smoking marijuana for the very first time. All it took was one hit and you would be high as a kite. However, as you continually did it, you would need to smoke more and more to feel that same “high.”

This is the same exact thing that happens when you are a sex addict. You may start out by watching some porn in your room. This will eventually lose the “high” feeling that comes with it, so you will have to escalate it to satisfy your craving. As you build up a tolerance to your sex addiction, you will gradually increase your behaviors to continue to get that high.

You Start Experiencing Recreational, Social, and Occupational Losses

Have you noticed that the activities you once enjoyed participating in have lessened, or even worse, disappeared all together? Are you beginning to be more isolated even though you have always been more on the social side? Is your job quality starting to decline? If you notice that any of the above have begun to happen, chances are that sex addiction is really starting to become a more serious problem for you.

While these symptoms may indicate that you have a sex addiction, or even that your sex addiction is getting worse, some of these symptoms will manifest themselves within any of the following behaviors: voyeurism, seductive role play, fantasy, exhibitionism, anonymous sex, paying to have sex, trading for sex, having intrusive sex, having exploitive sex, or even participating in a pain exchange.

This is a list of some behaviors that you may find yourself participating in if you have a sex addiction. But if you are not participating in any of these behaviors, it doesn’t necessarily mean that you do not have a sex addiction.

If you are a classic sex addict, you will show some or even all of these signs:

• You have endured abuse
• You are insecure when it comes to relationships
• You have a lack of impulse control regarding any aspect of your life
• You have other addictions as well
• You have some type of mood disorder
• You use sex as a way of soothing any toxic emotions you may feel

Treatment Options for Sex Addiction Symptoms

While some may tell you that successful treatment of your sex addiction is therapy, they would be right and wrong. If you are truly going to cure your sex addiction, you are going to need individualized therapy that caters solely to you and any underlying trauma that you have experienced. This is due to the fact that most sex addiction behaviors stem from some sort of traumatic experience that was previously experienced.

Yes, individual therapy is a must for curing your sex addiction, but you may also enjoy group therapy also. It is not only equally as important as your individual therapy but is also an important part of the recovery process as well. When you are in the group setting, the feeling of shame is reduced as others are sharing their stories, similar to how you would share your story.

What makes the group therapy even more special is that the other members are in the same exact place that you are, or have already dealt with whatever it is you feel like you are dealing with. This extra support is huge for the recovery process and helping yourself heal.

Now don’t get it wrong. If you are a sex addict and you go to individual therapy as well as group therapy, your sex addiction will not simply go away. In fact, you will occasionally be faced with some real temptations and this will occur throughout the rest of your life. However, keep in mind that your sex addiction treatment success doesn’t necessarily mean that you don’t experience any temptations, but rather your ability to not act on that temptation.

Just remember what God told to Paul when he pleaded with Him to take the thorn from his flesh. God told Paul that He was sufficient seeing him go through life having the thorn intact (2 Cor 12:8-10). This means that God has given you the strength to be and become who He has created you to be.

Some Hope for the Sex Addict

If you do struggle with sex addiction, you may feel that there is no hope for getting better. If this is how you feel, you are wrong. There is hope for curing your sex addiction. Just keep in mind that as long as Jesus is in your life, you will always have hope to help you out!

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation, he will also provide the way of escape that you may be able to endure it. – 1 Cor. 10:13

No matter how far you feel that you have fallen, God has everything that you are ever going to need in order to cure what was eaten by the locust. Yes, it is going to take an extreme amount of faith and courage on your part to create the everlasting changes that you are looking for within your life, but with God on your side, you have the power to accomplish anything you set your mind too.

Remember that you only get one life. Why don’t you make it a life that is full of joy, freedom, and gratitude for all of the glory and power of God? If you are struggling with sex addiction, be sure that you get in touch with an Orange County Christian Counseling program. Together, you and God will be able to overcome your sex addiction and finally be able to take your life back. You and God can do this together.